PLEASE TELL ME TO GO
by LnBen
Summary: Post-combat arousal is real. This adrenaline dump has been the cause of many failed marriages and relationships. This is a hard story to read. But it is real.


**PLEASE TELL ME TO GO**

**CHAPTER 1**

It all happened so fast. There wasn't time to think. I looked over my left shoulder and there was Barnes, gun in hand, standing between a van and the garage. Tank was one side of the van and Cal was on the other side of the house.

I yelled "Look out!" and at the same time dove toward Ranger to push us out of the line of fire. Believe me I wasn't suddenly infused with 'hero' genes. I was scared out of my common-sense mind. It was the only thing I could think of doing to get out of harm's way.

The bullet whizzed pass and chunks of basement brick went flying. That's when I felt the burning across the back of my right shoulder. All hell was breaking loose around me. Ranger, while on his back, fired at Barnes. Barnes went down. Tank shot Oscar as he burst out of the garage with his gun firing. Oscar's gun went flying and he grabbed his shoulder. Ranger ran to Barnes, who was on the ground holding together what was left of his knee. He picked up Barnes' gun, cuffed one hand to the van and told Tank to call Trenton PD and EMS after cuffing Oscar's good hand to Barnes. That's when Ranger looked at me and saw the blood.

He went ballistic! Not at Barnes, not at Oscar, but at me. He ripped open the back of my shirt to check the wound and at the same time shouted. "What the hell were you thinking?" No "Gee thanks for saving my life". No "Does it hurt?" I've never seen him so angry!

Before I could answer, Cal was there with the first aid kit and the discussion between the both of them revolved around the superficial-ness of the injury, that it was probably a piece of flying cement and the mutual agreement that stitches were not likely to be needed. None of these conversations involved me, by the way.

The blue-and-whites showed up. The EMS showed up. Prisoners were removed. Reports were taken. The initial evaluation of my wound was correct, and professionally bandaged. All of this occurred without one more word being exchanged between me and Ranger.

I was silently escorted to the Cyanne; and driven home. "Well, that went well!" I tried, unsuccessfully, to start a conversation. This was answered by a cold angry stare from Ranger. I've worked with Ranger long enough to know when silence is golden. This was definitely a golden moment. Not another word was spoken until we were in my apartment.

He held me by my left arm, and guided me through the lobby, into the elevator and down the hall to my door. The grip was the type used to "encourage" an FTA to move along. As soon as the door was shut, Ranger pinned me against the foyer wall. "Don't you EVER do that again!" I opened my mouth, but before I could get a word out, he was yelling some more.

"What the hell were you thinking? You could have been killed!" I swear I could see flames of fire in his eyes.

"But I wasn't."(Using one of his favorite 'I didn't die' lines.) "How about a…'Gee thanks for saving my life' or 'Are you OK? Does it hurt?' Why are you so angry at me?"

"You don't get it do you?" he replied, trying to keep his voice at a conversational level. "I couldn't live with myself if you took a bullet that was meant for me."

"But you would take one for _me_. You've put yourself in that position a bunch of times. You got shot in my apartment, for God's sake!"

"That's different."

"How? How is that different? You can get shot for me but I can't get shot for you?" I was yelling now. I wiggled out of his grip.

"Do you understand me? You are never to do that again. "

With a "humph" I shifted my weight and marched, indignantly into the living room. This argument was getting ridiculously intense and I was finding myself getting heated up in a very surprising place. The more we yelled the more I wanted sex. When Ranger came up behind me and turned me around to face him, I grabbed him with one hand behind his head and the other on his business and tried to suck the life out of him with a kiss. I was elated to find his response just as passionate and swift. Locked together in this weird embrace, he back-stepped me into the bedroom. That's when things took a turn, I can't say for the worst but definitely for places we've never been.

**CHAPTER 2**

_Always expect trouble…a rule that has kept me alive more than once. This capture was no exception. Oscar DelRio and Sonny Barnes were second rate thugs at best and idiots to boot. The idiot thing was the bell-ringer for me. Stupid people do stupid things. And those stupid things can get them and others killed. _

_Stephanie had chanced upon Sonny while waiting for subs at the deli. She and I had been talking shop over breakfast and I mentioned the high bail on DelRio and Barnes. These two clowns had decided to up their stature in the gutter by removing an ATM from the front of a MiniMart, using Oscar's tow truck and wench. The CCTV cameras gave a great picture of his yellow and green truck with the foot high lettering on the sides and rear. "DelRio Towing 609-555-WREK". Both men wore masks but forgot to take off their garage jumpsuits. Their names were printed in handy-to-read blue on white patches on their chests. Normally I wouldn't have bothered but since it was a federal crime and the reward was five figures; the easy income was worth the effort._

_When she phoned, I gave her specific orders to follow, watch and observe until we got there. Sometimes, I swear that information goes into Steph's head and gets lost before it ever reaches her brain. For the longest time I thought she would do things just to test me. As I got to know her and love her, I realized that she just can't help it. She has some sort of reactive OCD. She just has to see what would happen "if". I always thought that "if" would be the end of her and today it almost was._

_She followed Barnes to a bungalow across the alley from Oscar's garage. With the trash piled up in the yard and weeds everywhere, it looked abandoned. I can't imagine any fugitive having their hideout next to their advertised place of business. But then again, these guys weren't the roundest marbles in the bag. With specific orders to stay in her car until the SUV's showed up, Stephanie immediately left her vehicle to peek in the window of the house. Later she explained that she wanted to make sure he was alone and that there would be no surprises. Surprises and disasters seem to have the same meaning and outcome in the world of Plum. My Babe keeps me at the top of my game._

_After confirming that Sonny was alone, she wound her way through the trash back to her car; completely unaware that Oscar DelRio was watching from his garage. One phone call to Barnes and the element of surprise was gone for this capture. _

_We pulled up behind Steph's car in full gear…belts, guns, Mags and vests. All take-downs are treated as potential hazards. Around Steph, I treat them as Snafu's. She hasn't proved me wrong yet. Insisting that she come along to show me the layout of the house, she was at my side before I could say no. Three steps into the yard we all found ourselves in an old Western gun fight. Going forward to get us out of the kill zone, I waved Tank and Cal to cover our left flank and get the shooter in the garage._

_Barnes came out of the house and headed for his van parked in the alley. He raised his gun and fired at the same time as Steph yelled and pushed us both to the ground. I could hear the bullet scream past my head and knew it had been deathly close to both of us. Muscle memory takes hold at times like this and the action is automatic. I fired from the ground and took out his right knee. He went down, dropping his gun to use both hands trying to stop the bleeding. He was also crying big tears. "What the fuck?" he cried, shocked that I would actually shoot back._

_DelRio had made the same poor calculation regarding Tank. A through-and-through to his shoulder and he was a whimpering, incredulous mess. We cuffed them together and called all the proper flashing lights. That's when I saw the blood coming from Stephanie's back. It felt like I had swallowed a chunk of ice, everything inside went cold. I've lost men before. I've seen people I care about in terrific pain that I could do nothing about. I knew she wasn't going to die from the wound but damn it, how did I let her get hurt! What was she thinking getting in the line of fire? She had no business protecting me. If that bullet had my name on it…so be it. It didn't have hers on it, and she had no business putting it on. I was so scared to think I could have lost her in that instant, and so mad that she would do something so lovingly stupid; I couldn't speak to her. I needed to be in control at the scene and if I started with her, I would most definitely loose control. _

_She tried to make conversation in the Porsche on the way back to her apartment but I didn't trust driving and ranting at the same time. When we got inside, I could feel the adrenaline building up. Usually I can control the rush but where Steph is concerned nothing is the way it is supposed to be. State my complaint, make it clear that she is never to do that again and get out. Good plan. Never gonna happen._

_The plan almost worked until she grabbed me in the living room. The heat of her kiss told me two things. She was a turned on as I was. And she was in serious danger…from me. _

**CHAPTER 3**

Ranger suddenly pulled away and held me at arm's length. "Babe, this isn't a good idea right now. You've been through a serious firefight and you need to calm down. It's the adrenaline driving you. You aren't thinking clearly."

"Are you for real?" I couldn't possibly calm down. I was pretty sure I was going to die from terminal horniness or at least self-combust right there on the spot.

"You really don't want to go there. It's best if I leave. Go take a shower, you'll feel better."

"Like Hell I will! I need you! I need you right now. Please. Are you that mad at me that you want me to suffer? Are you trying to teach me a lesson?"

Holding her tightly to his chest he whispered, "God, Babe, no. I'm trying to keep you safe"

"Safe? Safe from what?"

"Safe from me. I need you right now. But what I have to give is not what you deserve. I can't be romantic or slow. I want to take you, use you, and I can't be gentle. Not now. What I feel now is raw and troubling and you could get hurt. That's not what you signed up for and not what I promised. For both our sakes, please tell me to go."

"I signed up to be your friend, partner and lover. We have a pact to be there for each other. If I am what you need right now…take me. I need you just as badly. Please, Ranger, take what is yours. Let me give you what you need."

With that, I stripped of my clothes and stood before him naked. I knew my eyes were pleading with him to stay. I watched as his pupils' dilated black and he reached for his belt buckle. There was a set to his jaw and urgency to his striping that should have alerted me to the change in him. All I wanted was to ease my own fires. I had no idea of the blinding rage flaming inside him.

I was pushed to the bed, his body following mine down. His kiss forced my mouth to accept his tongue. He searched to find mine. His hand was between my legs touching me, not with the masterful strokes of a Latin lover, but with the hungry groping of pure lust. I came with that first touch. Rapid shock waves that left me only wanting more. Boy was I going to get my fill.

As soon as he felt my climax he got off the bed only to pull me down to the edge. Standing, he spread my legs and jammed himself into me. I was alarmed at first by his lack of gentleness but turned on even more. After all, he had warned me that this wasn't our normal love-making and things could get rough.

There were no soft strokes, no short teasing moves; just a need to fill me to the hilt. The quickness and violence was more than I could stand and I had the mother of all orgasms. It seems that was what he was waiting for. As soon as he sensed my spasms, he closed my legs tightly and pumped harder. Pushing them towards my chest I could feel him hitting deep and touching new places that jumped to the arousal. He put one foot on the bed to give him a better angle and continued until I let out a moan and came again.

While being rolled to my side for a different penetration, I suddenly realized that it wasn't about Ranger's climax. He was showing me that he was in charge and would keep forcing me to orgasm until I begged him to stop or until I passed out from sensory overload. He was into a zone that I had never seen before. This raw, animal lust was something I always knew was there but well controlled. For a brief moment I was scared, but then I had been warned. He pleaded with me to make him go because he knew he would be at the mercy of his hidden needs. I love him. I trust him. And if this is what he needs, I can take it. I hope.

I was on my stomach, my legs on the floor. Ranger was in me doggie style and I was sure that my next climax would be my last. I would either die right then and there or pass into the world of the sexual satiated, never to need an orgasm again. It had been an hour at least and he seemed to be as hard as ever. Suddenly he reached down and grabbed my arms and pulled me up and back. Bent over like a prisoner he held me tightly and pumped hard. I let out a cry because it hurt so bad and because that last orgasm had come and gone. He let go of my arms, took hold of my hips and in a rapid and violent set of thrusts, I could feel his release. He ground himself tight into me, and with a guttural moan he let himself ejaculate. I swear it lasted good two or three minutes, and then he just held me in place until I could feel his member going flaccid. It was over. I survived.

He bent down and gently kissed my back at the end of my spine. I couldn't move. I hurt all over. I was mentally and physically exhausted. He walked over to the club chair near my bed and sank into it. Legs extended, elbows and arms on the chair's arms and his head back, he looked as worn out as I felt.

**CHAPTER 4**

_I needed to get out of that apartment. I knew what was coming and I didn't want Babe to be a part of it. I had promised her I wouldn't cheat on her but for her own good I needed to see one of the girls. They were used to such treatment, in fact that's the only way they could get off. Not Steph. She is never to know about that side of lust. Post-combat hard-ons are bastards. No wonder after a day of close quarters fighting, ancient hoards of warriors would spend the night raping and pillaging. They were as much victims to their own needs as the people they raped. The very old, the very young, male or female nothing mattered except to quench the fire in their loins. Nothing has changed in all those centuries. But things have changed now for me. I love Stephanie with every ounce of my being. This adrenaline-forced hard-on is the first one I have had to deal with since we have become a couple. The firefight and the real possibility of causing or watching her death were the catalysts, I'm sure. It didn't help matters when she started to argue. And the final blow was her grasp on my shaft. _

_Going into the bedroom was the mistake of the century. I knew I didn't have the willpower to leave on my own. I begged her to send me away. I tried to explain the danger she was in. Why did I find so late in my life the one perfect woman for me? Why couldn't I have found her before so much of my life was filled with baggage? This baggage will now destroy the only priceless thing in my life…our relationship._

_Damn, send me away. Don't take off you clothes. Please don't stand there so willing and wanting. Oh, God, I'm loosing it. Please don't let me hurt her. Please, Babe, forgive me. Shit! I have to have her. She needs to be taken…and I will take what is mine!_

_She was wet almost immediately. Good, I am in charge here. I can make you come as often and as hard as I want. Look at you spread before me. I see those swollen lips begging for more. I won't look at your face. This is not my beloved. This is a trophy of war. I can fuck it anyway I want. And I plan on fucking you until you don't move. Then I'll fuck you one more time for my pleasure. I am a victorious warrior. This is my plunder. This is my right. This is the death of my soul._

_With the violent release of my sperm, I was calm again. I looked at the abused and exhausted woman in front of me and wished for immediate and painful death. I would give everything I have built, everything that I have saved, everything that I am if I could just take away the last hours and the pain I have caused. I herd and felt her sobbing gently as I kissed her back. I was too disgusted with myself to face her and too exhausted to leave. The best I could do was make my way to the chair and try to gain enough strength to be gone when she got up. _

_But I would have no such luck. Bad Karma sticks to your soul like gum on your shoe. Before I could get out of the chair and dressed; Steph stood up, put on that fluffy pink robe and came to me. She walked so slowly I could see she was in pain. Pain that I caused. _Painthat_ would destroy everything._

**CHAPTER 5**

I stood for a moment and felt our juices dripping from me. Everything hurt. I was so swollen my vee lips were rubbing together as I walked. I grabbed my robe and headed for the chair.

Ranger hadn't moved. His head back, he stared at the ceiling. His breathing was slow and controlled. He was back in his own skin. I wasn't afraid for myself. But I was so scared for him.

I sat on the floor between his outstretched legs and my back on the chair. I gathered his legs around me and put my head on his right knee. We sat like that for a long while. Then Ranger put his hand on my head and began stroking my temple with his thumb. Softly and gently the way he does when we make love. I closed my eyes and breathed a sigh of sheer relief. Things were normal again. Or as normal as things ever were between Ranger and me.

"Babe" he said softly. But I wouldn't let him finish. I wanted my two cents in first.

I turned, crossed legged to face him. "Are you OK?"

"Am I OK? Jeeze, what a question! Babe, I used you. I hurt you. I raped you for God sake!"

"You most certainly DID NOT! We had exceptionally rough sex; which I asked for, by the way! You told me, you warned me and even pleaded with me not to follow my needs."

"It's not like that, Babe. I knew what was going to happen. You had no idea."

"Well, now I do. I won't say it was all enjoyable but it was an education.

I need to know about these things in your life. Because it's our life now. I know that you take care of me and I need to be able to take care of you. "

"It won't happen again. I promise'

"You can't make that promise. And I won't accept that promise. We live with a day to day intense relationship. Neither one of us can know what the other may desperately need tomorrow. But we can be there for each other."

"Babe, I know how much I hurt you. I can't take that back. If hurting me would take away your pain right now I would let you beat me to a bloody pulp. I didn't show it tonight, but I love you. I love you more than life itself. Can you forgive me? Or ever trust me again?"

"Forgive you for being who and what your are? What a stupid question. I knew from day one that I loved the whole messed up package. I also know that I am your biggest pain in the ass. You have accepted me for who I am, and I love you for it."

He reached for my face and kissed me gently. I could see un-shed tears in his eyes. They made his chocolate eyes shine in the light. God, I wanted to hold him. I wanted to take away every memory of pain and loss. I stood and took his hand. "Let's get some sleep. We are both worn out. We'll talk more in the morning"

With that I led him to the bed. Covered in my quilt. He on his back, me with my leg wrapped around his and my head on his chest; I listened to my 'other' heart beat as we fell into deep sleep. The last thought in my tired brain…LOVE…love has all the answers.


End file.
